1858 AD
Hammurabi

History always has twists and turns, and the story of Hammurabi is no exception. It may be hard to believe (after your having read my secret blog) that they elected Hammurabi the Cruel, King of Squalor, the Unmerciful, Crusher of Cities, to be the Secretary General of the United Nations. They even gave the guy a Nobel Peace Prize!

You see the superpowers, Zululand and Japan, were so at odds, that it was thought that only someone of Hammurabi's "stature, independence and diplomatic contacts" could be trusted (that, and a few well-placed bribes). Apparently, Hammurabi the Despotic Warmonger of Babylon was credited with brokering a peace treaty between the two superpowers. The same guy who started the most bloody war in history. The same guy who whipped his own citizens until they bled. Yeah, that guy. 

How do I know all these secrets about Hammurabi, Terrible King of the Tigris and the Euphrates, and of the Lands Between? His ulterior motives? His nefarious methods? Why do I so obviously despise him? 

You see, I am his son. I am Hammurabi, Jr.